Welcome. I’m Dr. John Schinnerer, and today we’re exploring the profound power of mindset—how it shapes your relationships, your identity, and your ability to grow and heal. This isn’t just another self-help cliché. This is a science-backed journey into the mechanics of change and the psychology of connection.
From Fixed Thinking to a Growth-Oriented Life
Think back to the first time you were faced with a difficult challenge—maybe calculus in high school or riding a bike hands-free. If your immediate response was, “I’m just not cut out for this,” that’s a classic example of a fixed mindset at work—the belief that our intelligence and abilities are static and unchanging.
But decades of research, especially the groundbreaking work of psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck, have shown us a different path. The growth mindset tells us that with effort, persistence, and the right strategy, we can improve our abilities in virtually any area—from learning new skills to regulating emotions, losing weight, improving physical health, and navigating relationships.
It’s not just theory. Neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to rewire itself—means we can literally change how we think, feel, and act.
The Power of Belief: What the Placebo Effect Teaches Us
The placebo effect is more than a medical anomaly. It’s proof of the mind’s power. Research shows that post-surgical patients who know they’re receiving pain medication report 34% more pain relief than those who don’t—even when both are receiving the same amount of medication at the same time.
What does this mean for our emotional lives? It means that belief—whether in healing, connection, or personal change—can amplify results. Your mindset isn’t just internal noise; it’s a powerful driver of real-world outcomes. In relationships, this translates to how we interpret effort, intention, and emotional connection.
Reimagining Relationships Through the Lens of Effort
Many people believe that if a relationship is challenging, it’s doomed. That simply isn’t true. My partner, Joree, and I spent years stumbling through conflict before we discovered a new way of relating—one centered on intention and effort, rather than perfection.
Here’s one of the many things we’ve learned: it’s critical to praise your partner’s effort. Celebrate attempts. Focus less on outcomes and more on the courage and energy it takes to try. Whether it’s something small like doing the dishes or something bigger like emotional vulnerability, relationships thrive when we value what our partner is trying to do.
Criticism rooted in unmet expectations only builds resentment. Appreciation, grounded in observed effort, creates safety and connection. And isn’t that what we are all truly aiming for?
The Language of Change and the Challenge of Identity
One of the greatest obstacles to personal growth is fear—especially fear of who we might be without the stories we tell ourselves. Whether it’s a victim narrative, a trauma identity, or the belief that “I’m just not the type of person who…”—these stories keep us stuck.
Real change requires asking: Who am I without this belief?
That question can be frightening…and liberating. It opens the door to something powerful: freedom. Growth begins when we challenge our internal narratives and decide to write a new chapter.
It’s Time to Ask Yourself…
Where are you stuck? What story are you clinging to that says, “I can’t change”? Because that voice—that story—is fear. And fear is the voice of a fixed mindset. It does not belong here anymore.
When you shift to a growth mindset, you tap into your ability to learn, evolve, and build something better—within yourself and in your relationships.
Begin the Shift
If you’re ready to challenge old beliefs and begin transforming your mindset and your relationships, we invite you to take the next step with us.
Join our monthly Relationship Masterclass Series—a deep dive into tools, techniques, and insights that can help elevate your relationship to the next level.
Listen to the full podcast episode on the power of mindset to unlock a more connected, fulfilling life.
Support the mission for happier, more connected couples—leave a review on Apple Podcasts or share this message with someone who needs it.
And if you’re ready to go deeper…
Resources to Start Your Transformation:
Emotional Mastery & Peak Performance Tools
Explore cutting-edge tools for high performers and executives at: [GuideToSelf.com
Overcome Anger with Proven Methods
Join over 20,000 graduates of Dr. John’s Ultimate Online Anger Management Class at the High Performer Shop
️ Podcasts to Fuel Growth
Love Isn’t Enough Podcast – Practical tools to strengthen love and connection
The Evolved Caveman Podcast – For men seeking growth, resilience, and deeper relationships
Journey Forward with Joree Rose – Mindfulness, healing, and transformation for women over 40
Couples Counseling & Therapy
Work with Dr. John and Joree directly at LoveIsntEnough.net
Explore Joree’s therapy services at JoreeRose.com and MindfulnessAndTherapyCenter.com
Final Thought:
A happy, connected and safe relationship is possible. Growth is within reach. And transformation starts with a single, courageous shift in mindset.
We look forward to seeing you on the journey.
—Dr. John Schinnerer
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